Sharing the Misery

Magoo’s Pub & Eatery downtown was the place for debate watching

As this election season staggers to its conclusion, leaving most of America slightly breathless and in need of a serious mind bleach, there’s at least one good thing that’s happened in the last few weeks: the last and final debate between Hillary Rodham Clinton and Donald Trump on Oct 20.

Good because it was 90 minutes of two people telling us why they are best suited to become POTUS, leader of the free world and Commander in Chief with cogency and pragmatism?

Don’t be ridiculous.

No, it’s good because it was the very last time we voters had to consume copious amounts of alcohol to prep for another cage match that was sure to feature inappropriate amounts of shock and awe.

Magoo’s Pub & Eatery on 2nd Street in Frederick had become the place to watch and wring your hands, in between quaffing beer and cocktails or, um, shots of tequila. The crowd was primarily made up of Clinton supporters, but a few millennials in the pack the night of the last debate weren’t buying either candidate. We’ll get to them in a moment.

The third debate was met with a weary traveler’s enthusiasm for one last landmark before shuffling onto a plane for a seven-hour flight home. The whoops and hollers that served as the soundtrack to the previous debates muted to an occasional smattering of applause, a handful of hoots.

Jennifer Dougherty, proprietor of the establishment, provided three television views of the final debate, moderated most effectively by Chris Wallace of FOX News. [Who knew?] A few sets of Rock Em, Sock Em robots were perfect for letting off a little steam, and capturing the tone of the event.

“Some pubs fill up for football and baseball games, but I love the fact that we are booked for political debates!” Dougherty said.

Dougherty reported that “A lot of Republicans were here looking for a reason to vote for Hillary. Some found it, while others still think third party is their best option.”

The millennials, Drew and James, no last names please, were the liveliest of the assembled watchers. Like them, I was becoming bored with the same old, same old: steely tolerance, misogyny and bigotry on overdrive, testosterone on overdrive, the economy, sniffling, ISIS, hairspray and pants suits. [Have you gotten your “Such a Nasty Woman” T-shirt yet??]

“Our national dialogue is at an all-time low,” said Drew, 34. He lamented the lack of discussion on the need for science and technology education, the outdated war on drugs approach to a national epidemic of opiate addiction, and more.

Although not an enthusiastic Clinton supporter, Drew’s buddy, James, is definitely not a Trump fan. “So much comes out of his mouth that is not true that it is hard to defend him.”

Both men believe the GOP will have to get over its anti-intellectualism and start championing smarts over ignorance.

From there, my notes get fuzzy. I did say alcohol was involved, did I not?

A young woman named Kat was equally inebriated—in a fun and love-you-man kind of way, though. She regrets that this election is dividing her from her Libertarian friends who see no real choices in this election. She professed to “love” Clinton and that her love has to be downplayed in front of her actual friends whom she really, really loves.

Shew.

And when all the sniffling, snorting and pawing the ground was over, we all, not just Hillary Clinton, breathed a sigh of relief, not realizing that the pair would be separated by a solitary church official at a charity dinner in New York the next night.

One last gasp of hot air. One last tin-eared attempt at humor. Annnd, they’re done.

Election Night reservations are coming in a steady stream at Magoo’s, and it looks to be a celebratory night for Clinton supporters. [Sorry Mr. Trump. Like most thinking Americans, I don’t believe this election is rigged or that hordes of fraudulent voters, with blessings from a liberal media are planning to storm the booths.]

Dougherty has a more evolved take on the debates than yours truly. “This election has proven that we need to talk to each other more and listen to the other side,” Dougherty said. “I think we, the voters, need to learn to play our part and watching debates and being willing to go to a candidate’s website are easy tasks.”